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KRINGGGGG~~~ KRINGGG~~ ~KRINGGGG~ ~!!!”, bunyi telepon.

“Halo, selamat siang”, jawab seorang wanita setengah baya.

“Lho, siapa ini?”, terdengar sahut suara berat seorang pria.

“Oh, saya pembantu baru di sini Pak. Saya baru kerja. Baru datang siang ini.”

“Kalau begitu, Ibu mana?”

“Ibu sedang di kamar tidur Pak.”

“Kalau begitu tolong panggilkan.”

“Maaf Pak, Bapak siapa yah?”

“Saya suaminya.”

“Hah, lha wong Ibu di kamar sama Bapak kok?!”, si pembantu kaget

“Apaaaa ?!?!?!” si Bapak lebih kaget lagi.

Si pembantu jadi bingung.

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Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else…

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, ‘I’ll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, ‘I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. ‘

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend…  So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down.’

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, ‘The bastard used coins!’

A British air ways flight was going to Baghdad from London.

When it gets close to Baghdad it starts having some kind of trouble.

The pilot contacts the air tower at Baghdad airport and asks for help

” Baghdad , this Captain Smith, British Airways flight 000, do you read?”

“Flight 000, dis iz Baghdad felight contorol, go ahead”

” Baghdad , this is flight 000, we have a problem”

“Dis iz Baghdad , vat kind of peroblem?”

“This is flight 000, we have lost power to our engines, please advise”

“Dis iz Baghdad , i reed you, peleez check some things for me, ok?”

“This is flight 000, go ahead”

“Dis iz Baghdad , can you get emergency pover to your engines?”

“This is flight 000, negative, no power is available”

“Dis iz Baghdad , can you peleez brring your altitude to 20,000 feet?”

“This is flight 000, negative, our wing controls do not respond”

“Dis iz Baghdad , can you peleez see if you can lower your veels?”

“This is flight 000, negative, landing gears are stuck”

“Dis iz Baghdad , Aztaggga-Firula Ul-Azimmm. …would you pleeze repeet thez words after me”

“This is flight 000, go ahead”

“Dis iz Baghdad , repeat thez words peleez: Ashado Allah IllaHaIllallah, Wa Ashado anna Mohammadan rasullul Allah” Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rojiun…… ..

Setelah diselidiki, kota2 di dunia punya arti yg dalam…

HOLLAND : Hope Our Love Last And Never Dies..

ITALY : I Trust And Love You..

FRANCE : Friendship Remain And Never Can End…

MANILA : May All Night Inspire Love Always…

and last but not least…

JAKARTA : Jambret Ada, Koruptor Ada, Rampok Tentu Ada.

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Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Seorang warga Indonesia meninggal dan karena amal perbuatannya buruk lalu ia dikirim menuju ke neraka. Di sana ia mendapatkan bahwa ternyata neraka itu berbeda-beda bagi tiap negara asal.

Pertama ia ke neraka orang-orang Inggris dan bertanya kpd orang-orang Inggris disitu: “Kalian diapain sini?”

Orang Inggris menjawab: “Pertama-tama, kita didudukan di atas kursi listrik selama satu jam. Lalu didudukan di atas kursi paku selama satu jam lagi. Lalu disiram dengan bensin dan disulut api. Lalu, setan Inggris muncul dan memecut kita sepanjang sisa hari.”

Karena kedengarannya tidak menyenangkan, si orang Indonesia menuju ke neraka lain. Ia coba melihat-lihat bagaimana keadaan di neraka AS, neraka Israel, neraka Rusia dan banyak lagi. Ia mendapatkan bahwa ke semua neraka-neraka itu kurang-lebih mirip dengan neraka orang Inggris.

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AMERICA
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman……… (Applause! Applause!)

SPAIN
Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening…. (Applause! Applause!)

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BREAKING NEWS
Menurut penelitian yg di lakukan oleh para Profesor ahli dari jepang selama hampir 20 tahun akhirnya mereka mengumumkan keputusan yg sangat mengejutkan kita semua tentang cara kita tidur selama ini.

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