Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Dokumen rahasia tentang Pembatalan Penyerangan AS terhadap Indonesia BOCOR!!

Mungkin setelah membaca ini account FB saya akan diblokir, atau saya sudah hilang dimuka bumi dihabisi CIA. jadi tolong camkan dan jaga rahasia ini.

DOKUMEN INI DITEMUKAN DI MILIS TEKNOKRAT BANDUNG DAN MUNGKIN BERMANFAAT TUK DIBACA DAN DISIMAK.

Dokumen Rahasia CIA tentang penyerbuan ke Indonesia…

Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:31 pm (PST)

Dokumen Rahasia CIA tentang penyerbuan ke Indonesia…

Sebuah dokumen berklasifikasi sangat rahasia (TOP SECRET) bocor ke tangan wartawan. Dokumen ini adalah laporan CIA kepada Pentagon yang sebenarnya akan diteruskan ke Gedung Putih.

Menurut dokumen tsb, setelah Irak , Indonesia akan jadi sasaran berikutnya. Tapi intel2 CIA yang lebih dahulu diterjunkan ke Indonesia, menyimpulkan bahwa jika diteruskan maka perang tsb akan menjadi sangat mahal biayanya dan dipastikan AS akan menderita banyak kerugian. (more…)

Some people say:

Wife is a  HARIMAU …….

Girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU

And some say:

Wife is like TV, Girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, Go out bring HP.

No money, sell  TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don’t pay, the services will be terminated. (more…)

  1. Tidur dgn wanita CANTIK.. Bangganya 1/2 mati.
  2. Tidur dgn ARTIS.. Mahalnya 1/2 mati.
  3. Tidur dgn wanita JELEK.. Stressnya 1/2 mati.
  4. Tidur dgn wanita HYPER.. Capeknya 1/2 mati.
  5. Tidur dgn PACAR.. Nafsunya 1/2 mati.
  6. Tidur dgn ISTRI ORANG.. Deg2annya 1/2 mati.
  7. Tidur dgn ISTRI SENDIRI.. Pura2 mati.
  8. Tidur dgn CADDY.. Bisa mati beneran.

Ah Beng bought a new mobile. He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, ‘My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610.’

==========================================
Ah Beng: I am a proud because my son is in Medical College ..
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

==========================================
Ah Beng: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be OK.
Ah Beng: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is the final game.

(more…)

Pernikahan

Author: admin

Sebelum Menikah ……………

Cowok : Akhirnya aku sudah menunggu saat ini tiba sejak lama
Cewek : Apakah kau rela kalau aku pergi ?
Cowok : Tentu Tidak!!Jangan pernah kau berpikiran seperti itu
Cewek : Apakah Kau mencintaiku ??
Cowok : Tentu !! Selamanya akan tetap begitu
Cewek : Apakah kau pernah selingkuh ??
Cowok : Tidak !! Aku tak akan pernah melakukan hal buruk itu
Cewek : Maukah kau menciumku ??
Cowok : Ya
Cewek : Sayangku…. ….

Sesudah 5 tahun nikah….tinggal baca dari bawah ke atas

Inem Oh Inem…

Author: admin

KRINGGGGG~~~ KRINGGG~~ ~KRINGGGG~ ~!!!”, bunyi telepon.

“Halo, selamat siang”, jawab seorang wanita setengah baya.

“Lho, siapa ini?”, terdengar sahut suara berat seorang pria.

“Oh, saya pembantu baru di sini Pak. Saya baru kerja. Baru datang siang ini.”

“Kalau begitu, Ibu mana?”

“Ibu sedang di kamar tidur Pak.”

“Kalau begitu tolong panggilkan.”

“Maaf Pak, Bapak siapa yah?”

“Saya suaminya.”

“Hah, lha wong Ibu di kamar sama Bapak kok?!”, si pembantu kaget

“Apaaaa ?!?!?!” si Bapak lebih kaget lagi.

Si pembantu jadi bingung.

(more…)

Johnny oh Johnny…

Author: admin

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else…

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, ‘I’ll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, ‘I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. ‘

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend…  So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down.’

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, ‘The bastard used coins!’

Arti Nama Kota2 Dunia

Author: admin

Setelah diselidiki, kota2 di dunia punya arti yg dalam…

HOLLAND : Hope Our Love Last And Never Dies..

ITALY : I Trust And Love You..

FRANCE : Friendship Remain And Never Can End…

MANILA : May All Night Inspire Love Always…

and last but not least…

JAKARTA : Jambret Ada, Koruptor Ada, Rampok Tentu Ada.

(more…)

Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

(more…)

Cerita Dari NERAKA

Author: admin

Seorang warga Indonesia meninggal dan karena amal perbuatannya buruk lalu ia dikirim menuju ke neraka. Di sana ia mendapatkan bahwa ternyata neraka itu berbeda-beda bagi tiap negara asal.

Pertama ia ke neraka orang-orang Inggris dan bertanya kpd orang-orang Inggris disitu: “Kalian diapain sini?”

Orang Inggris menjawab: “Pertama-tama, kita didudukan di atas kursi listrik selama satu jam. Lalu didudukan di atas kursi paku selama satu jam lagi. Lalu disiram dengan bensin dan disulut api. Lalu, setan Inggris muncul dan memecut kita sepanjang sisa hari.”

Karena kedengarannya tidak menyenangkan, si orang Indonesia menuju ke neraka lain. Ia coba melihat-lihat bagaimana keadaan di neraka AS, neraka Israel, neraka Rusia dan banyak lagi. Ia mendapatkan bahwa ke semua neraka-neraka itu kurang-lebih mirip dengan neraka orang Inggris.

(more…)

Miss Universe Contest

Author: admin

AMERICA
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman……… (Applause! Applause!)

SPAIN
Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening…. (Applause! Applause!)

(more…)

Akibat Tidur Terlentang

Author: admin

BREAKING NEWS
Menurut penelitian yg di lakukan oleh para Profesor ahli dari jepang selama hampir 20 tahun akhirnya mereka mengumumkan keputusan yg sangat mengejutkan kita semua tentang cara kita tidur selama ini.

(more…)